The Most Effective Cure for Loneliness

“Where there is sugar, there are ants.” It seems almost destined that living beings are drawn to anything they perceive as beneficial. Before building a settlement, humans typically search for one essential resource first: water. This “sweet” water is used and managed so that no one feels deprived. It becomes a timeless idol, valued by everyone—young or old, across every era and passing trend. And yet, humans remain like “ants” who leave as soon as the sugar runs out, or once its sweetness turns bitter.

A country blessed with abundant natural resources is much like that sugar—coveted by multinational corporations and other sovereign states alike. Its potential draws attention, though not every introduction leads to friendship, let alone lasting partnership. Since this “sugar” is governed by people, it has the agency to decide its stance, ideally allowing only the well-intentioned “ants” to gather around it. Total isolation is nearly impossible, however, because ants are destined to find sugar, even in the narrowest and darkest corners. 

Yet the entity that plays the role of “sugar” cannot always escape loneliness. It understands why so many suddenly rush to extend friendship, and it knows those relationships are rarely permanent. The clear water once adored by all becomes the subject of ridicule when it turns brown from human activity. A wealthy and generous nation will be abandoned the moment it stops handing out gifts. Praise and sweet words can quickly turn into insults and mockery when fortune shifts and the “sugar” loses its sweetness.

Illustration: Goa Tetes, Lumajang

The Sugar That Never Loses Its Sweetness

For the people of Turkmenistan, this “sugar” takes the form of parents, elders, and community seniors. In a culture deeply rooted in traditional Turkmen beliefs, there is a saying: “Gold and silver never age, but father and mother are beyond value.” There are unwritten rules that continue to guide how people treat their elders. They must be respectful, never talk back, and certainly never raise their voices to them.

Elders hold a high place in Turkmen society’s unspoken hierarchy, especially in rural areas. Not every elderly person can assume this role—it is reserved for those with rich life experience and a strong sense of judgment. People turn to them for advice in all kinds of situations, and their voices often carry more weight than others, even religious figures such as mullahs.

This kind of privilege is rare outside Turkmenistan, a country that has remained relatively untouched by the glare of social media and travel influencers. This is partly due to the government’s strict and selective visa policies for foreign visitors. While Turkmenistan actively promotes its historical sites and breathtaking landscapes online, there is a clear sense that money is not everything to them. This outlook is shaped, in no small part, by the guidance of their elders, whose perspectives are formed through long and careful reflection on life’s many complexities.

Never Walks Alone

It’s understandable if you tend to overlook Turkmenistan, as it doesn’t rank among the world’s most prominent or developed nations. Yet its elderly population does not suffer from deep loneliness, because their presence is always needed. Even when they are no longer physically strong enough to work, they are not pushed to the margins of society—nor are they seen as a burden by younger generations.

They are trusted with meaningful roles, becoming the grandparents their grandchildren long for. This culture of honoring ancestors creates a sense of balance, one that helps spread happiness more evenly across the community.

Because the younger generation continues to rely on them for guidance, elders retain a sense of purpose even as time takes its toll. It is a purpose that restores meaning to the later chapters of their lives. (dswas).