How To Safely Care About Others

Whether we are prepared or not, unexpected tragedies like natural disasters, wars, and other tragic events happen at any time. We feel sad for the victims' suffering as media constantly show the anguish and misery they endure.

Our common response is usually trying the best to help by thinking of solutions, or criticizing the people who are responsible for the victims' pain (for instance, in wars and mass riots).

Typically, when someone is going through a terrible time in life—whether it's because of financial hardship, interpersonal conflicts, heartbreak, losing a job, having a lot of debt, etc.—they look for "medicine" to make them feel better. Sometimes, that "medicine" is expressing empathy to others who are less fortunate than themselves.

As social animals who live among society, it’s absolutely fine to feel compassionate for the pain of others. However, to be able to pass on the good you do to someone else, empathy should be spontaneous and genuine: i.e not expecting something in return, nor aiming to "cure" our own pain.

Furthermore, we don't have to lose empathy if the person we are trying to help turns out to be merely using our kindness for their own benefit, as the person you are donating to still holds out hope that your giving will help them get out of the sticky predicament they are in.

So, does this mean we have to stop empathizing others’ pain? Not really. Just consider the following points below before you decide to help someone:

See the situation as it is

There are layers of stories about why someone could fall and demand assistance from others to get up. Such stories can be quite shocking when we never have to deal with them in life. Anything can happen in this world, just like the day that shifts into night.

Make sure that your imaginations don't wandering around, speculate, or exaggerate everything you see or hear. Develop a habit to keep focusing on what's in front of you rather than what's going through your head.

Illustration source: Pixabay/kiquebg

Delay the reaction

Refrain from responding hastily in every thing and every circumstances. Give yourself time to examine what’s happening in front of you. We have the right to be skeptical, and don't allow anyone to take that from us.

People are in fear of missing out. But, what's even more terrifying is responding incorrectly to something. Do you remember the wave of sanctions that imposed on Russia for invading Ukraine? The inception of it all began with the wave of anger responses from netizens.

Review information from all point of views

Through the mainstream media, we are able to learn about events happening in distant regions of the globe. It is crucial to keep in mind that the mass media does not always report news objectively; among other things, their own political opinions are taken into consideration. Moreover, news produced by the media reflects the viewpoints of the organizations that finance the cause.

We must process information from multiple angles about a depressing occurrence (like a conflict) in order to decide how to feel about it. The thing is that media outlets that do not align with national objectives will marginalized, which makes it challenging for the public to obtain accurate and impartial information.

Do what we can

People’s suffering triggers our sympathy, at some extent, one may feel an extreme sadness because of it. It makes sense when we would want to assist those going through difficulties because, in our hearts, we would also wish to get some help whenever we deal with the same circumstance.

Since there are always going to be risks or consequences associated with the decisions we make, the assistance we give shouldn't make things harder for us later on. Self-control become your compass to gauge how much or how far you can help others in need.

Let go

Forget what you have done to help someone, just like giving a small money to a beggar. Regardless the size of the things you relinquish to become someone else's property, forgetting the good deeds you have done is a way to let go.

Ultimately, we need to get back to our personal lives and responsibilities. Daily routine can be challenging as life's challenges are never the same. We still need to steer our ship with our energy and heart strength to ensure that it doesn't sink in amid all life’s ups and downs. How will you going through this life when you have given your everything to others and nothing left?